Every Saturday at 10 am, your daughter gets picked up for soccer practice by your former spouse. Then she is brought back home at 6 pm on Sunday. She knows that she takes turns spending her birthday with each parent and that in odd-numbered years she is with you for Christmas. If this routine is not disrupted, she’s happy, relaxed, and comfortable with the co-parenting schedule in her life.
Co-parenting after a divorce and striving to get it right, will make a tremendous difference in your child’s well-being.
So, what is co-parenting? It is a parenting style followed by parents who do not live together that provides stability for their children. They set up a schedule for every aspect of childcare, including visitation, financial support, holidays, and extra-curricular activities. It keeps both parents closely involved in the lives of their children.
Can a child ever get too much love and support? Probably not. But they can get too little, and that is what co-parenting tries to avoid. It is a parenting style that attempts to have both parents active in their children’s lives to provide support, guidance, and encouragement.
So, How Do You Co-Parent Effectively?
Effective co-parenting involves a schedule that everyone knows, understands, and can work with. Scheduling provides your child with stability and lets her know what to expect. A healthy arrangement includes open communication so that when emergencies occur, or changes must be made, parents and children are comfortable compromising. You should also agree on similar styles of discipline, rules, and educational habits and expectations.
This style of parenting puts the child at the center of parental decisions. Parents have to move past their issues with each other and concentrate on doing what is best for their children. When they let go of their disagreements and design a life for their child that is steady, predictable, and focused on meeting her needs, then their co-parenting effectively builds a strong emotional foundation for their child.
So, What are the Signs that You are Doing it Right?
You know you are co-parenting right because there will be a lack of conflict and stress. Your children don’t have to question what is expected of them or what their routine is because their schedule is clear and understandable. Good grades or putting forth effort as well as stable relationships with friends, teachers and family members is a pretty good indicator that they are in a healthy environment at home.
If you can hear confidence in your children’s conversations when they make plans with friends because they know that they can count on their parents to stick to the plan, then you are doing it right. If your child believes in your consistency and trusts your decisions, then you are doing it right. If your child goes to sleep contented, that is a sure sign that co-parenting is working.
Related Questions
So, What Should You Not Do?
There are a few things that sabotage a good co-parenting plan. When you break the schedule for something that is not an emergency, you weaken the agreement. Speaking negatively about your former partner is also a no-no because it undermines their authority and respect. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, don’t practice inconsistency, and don’t try to turn your child against their other parent.
So, What is the Difference Between Co-Parenting and Joint Custody?
Some people may think that co-parenting and joint custody are the same thing. They are similar but can’t be used interchangeably. Joint custody is a legal term that describes how each parent has the legal right to make decisions for their child and defines visitation and responsibilities. Co-parenting is not a legal term but a parenting style that uses the terms agreed upon in the legal arrangements and applies them to everyday life.
In Sum
You can get co-parenting right by providing consistency for your daughter and proving to her every day how much you value her. Be the stability she needs, and she will grow up loving you for it every day, no matter what roof she is under.
Talk to a divorce attorney
Seeking guidance from a family law expert can simplify the divorce process, especially when children are involved, and provide support for you and your family. The family law and divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye P.C. in Jackson have a deep understanding of the emotional challenges faced during a marriage dissolution and family separation.
Having a reliable lawyer backed by experience can significantly impact the outcome of your divorce as well as alleviate the stress of the process. Call our Jackson divorce law firm for expert advice, guidance, and representation. Free initial consultations.