The holiday season should be a time of joy, family, and forgiveness, but when you are going though a divorce, the holidays can seem anything but joyous. Many people feel the need to isolate themselves, staying home, picking up extra work shifts, and just shutting themselves away from everyone.
However, this is the last thing that you should do if you are going through a divorce.
Shutting yourself away only increases the feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety. While the holidays can feel challenging, they can also provide opportunities for healing and reflection. Divorce is not the time to isolate yourself. Instead, it is the time to rely on your loved ones the most to help get you through this difficult time.
In this blog post, we will go through strategies to help you accept divorce, especially during the holiday season.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It is okay to grieve during a divorce. Divorce is a loss. A loss of both your partner and the future you envisioned together. While you may think the best way forward is to repress your emotions and just try to get through another day, repressing emotions doesn’t make them go away; it just delays the inevitable.
Divorce brings with it a myriad of emotions, including the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Everyone wants to get to that fifth stage, but to do so requires first going the beginning four. You may also feel emotions like guilt, shame, or even relief. It is important to let yourself feel these, process them, and move on. A good way to do this is to keep a journal of your feelings that you write every day. Identify what you are feeling and let yourself experience them.
Find Support in Friends and Family
Regardless of the time of year, holidays or otherwise, divorce is a time to lean on friends and family. For the holiday season especially, when everyone is with their loved ones, having people by your side who love and support you is necessary. Try not to shut yourself away and wallow. Rely on your friends and family in this difficult time.
If you are not getting a divorce but one of your loved ones is, just being there with a listening ear and comforting shoulder can do a lot to ease their burden. Those going through a divorce may not be the life of the party they once were, but try to get them out of their house. Invite them to gatherings. Call them just to talk. Be a friend who offers support and listens.
Practice Self-Care
Divorce often brings on feelings of worthlessness, negative self-image, and lower confidence. During this time, it is important to practice self-care and build yourself back up. This includes eating healthy, being active, and reconnecting with yourself. Do activities that bring you joy. You may not even know what brings you joy anymore, so this is the perfect opportunity to discover new and exiting hobbies. Explore and experiment. Find joy in the small moments.
Be Compassionate with Yourself
The holiday season often requires a lot and you may have high expectations for yourself. You may feel pressured to “act festive.” It is okay to remind yourself that you don’t need to put on a brave face. This holiday season is different than previous ones as well as future ones, and you should honor your needs. You won’t feel at peace or be completely “over” the divorce, and that is okay. Show compassion for yourself. You don’t need to be the life of the party this year.
Start New Traditions
You and your spouse probably had many holiday traditions, but this year, they may just be too painful. They can remind you of what you lost. If you have children, these traditions may also be painful to them as they are celebrating with their parents separately. That makes this year perfect for starting new traditions and creating new memories. Maybe try hosting a Friendsgiving or taking a trip. Take your kids ice staking, volunteering, or watch holiday movies with hot chocolate. Find new traditions that bring you joy.
Overall
Accepting divorce isn’t a quick or easy process. It takes time and is marked by high points and low points. Don’t feel pressured to put on a brave face this holiday season. Instead, take time to reflect and get to know yourself again. Discover new hobbies, new traditions, and rely on loved ones to get you through it. A divorce may be the end of something, but it is also the beginning of so much more.
Thinking of Divorce in Michigan?
If you are ending your marriage, it’s important that your rights and interests as well as those of your family are protected. Seeking the services of an experienced and caring divorce attorney will provide sound advice and guidance to get you through your journey.
The divorce and family law firm Rappleye & Rappleye P.C. in Jackson have the knowledge and compassion to help. If you are ready to move on embrace a new beginning call for a Free Consultation today!