Divorce is an unfortunate but not uncommon occurrence in our country. Of these divorces, over 60% are estimated to have children in the home, which means an agreement must be made on how parenting time is divided.
These agreements can be difficult to execute because of a combination of logistical challenges and emotional involvement.
A divorce and family law attorney is key to protecting both you and your child throughout the process.
Below we’ve outlined some common challenges all divorcing parents face, as well as some tips on how to ease the transition.
Common Challenges
Of course every family will have unique circumstances, but there are some common challenges that all divorcing couples with children involved could face. One all too common challenge is a contentious relationship between the coparents, which can make general communication and dividing parenting time a nightmare.
If this is your former partner, then you should be extra careful to make all arrangements through the attorney and/or court system.
But even for agreeable divorced couples, crafting parenting time arrangements can be tricky. One common challenge is how to divide important dates like birthdays, holidays, and other milestones. This can be difficult for parents to accept, especially if they have special attachments to any of these dates.
As children get older, parenting gets easier in some ways, but it can also make parenting time division complicated. Many older children are involved in extracurricular activities that may require transportation, special schedules, and other logistical considerations. Depending on the parents’ work schedules and other responsibilities, dividing this time can be hard.
Finally, many people who divorce, especially those early in their children’s lives, will go on to remarry, which can also lead to the addition of new children whether it be from a blended family or birth of a new child, all of which can add challenges when determining when and where parents and kids will spend their time.
Best Practices
While every family will have to adapt to the needs of their specific child(ren), we’ve outlined some best practices that can make your transition into co-parenthood a little easier.
Keep Kids First
While it should go without saying, anytime children are involved in divorce, their needs and well-being should come first! This includes all discussions about parenting time. For example, in order to keep children in the same school system, it might be necessary for the children to live with one parent during the week. While this may be difficult for the other parent, they should recognize when they have to put their own wants aside. And of course children should know they are never to blame for the divorce.
Minimize Disruptions
Minimizing disruptions to your kids’ lives is key in successfully dividing parenting time. Ideally children would remain in the same school and involved in the same activities they always have been without changing to accommodate the divorce. The parents should work tirelessly to minimize changes for the kids, even if that means more difficult changes for themselves.
Some parents are taking this to the extreme. A small number of families are actually electing for the children to live in the same house, while the parents are the one who switch in order to provide even more stability for any children in the home.
Over Communicate
When it comes to positive co-parenting and seamlessly dividing parenting time, communication is the key. In fact, it’s almost impossible to over communicate! Remaining in contact via text, email, and/or phone call ensures both parents always know what is happening with the other child. Communication can also include things like shared resources. For example, some divorced families will share an online calendar to keep everyone apprised of what’s happening.
Changes Go Through Lawyers
No matter how amicable the coparenting relationship is, any changes to existing custody agreements should be first discussed with your lawyer. By going through the appropriate channels to request any changes, both parties are protected from miscommunication that could cause disputes.
Family Law and Divorce Attorneys Dedicated to Protecting your Future
Regardless of why your marriage ended and what your current relationship with your former spouse looks like, if children are involved, they should remain the primary focus.
By employing family law attorneys with the appropriate expertise, you ensure everything is done legally and protect your relationship with your children, even if you and your ex are on the best terms. If you’re looking to speak to one of those experts, don’t hesitate to reach out to our divorce and family law firm in Jackson. We’ll schedule your Free Consultation so you can move forward with security and clarity.