Going through a divorce isn’t easy. Between legal fees, court dates, and managing emotions, it’s hands down one of the most challenging moments two people—who were once head over heels for each other—go through. Now, the already tricky event becomes even more challenging when a child is involved.
Parents have multiple options to choose from when claiming custody of their children.
However, it depends heavily on the relationship. And while some try to co-parent, parallel parenting is another option.
What is Parallel Parenting?
Parallel parenting is a type of co-parenting. Most people are aware of the co-parenting in which both parents share the same parenting styles, have continuous communication, and typically set their own rules and boundaries with one another.
Parents that choose parallel parenting may like this approach’s firm structure and boundaries. This approach requires a strict and precise system on how each parent will parent the child, their duties, communication methods and times, when and where the child will spend time with the parent, etc.
In some cases, parallel parenting is required by the court to make sure both parents respect the time the child is spent with one another as well as their chosen parenting style.
However, in other cases, parents may prefer this approach simply because of the rules and boundaries each parent lays out for the other to follow.
Why would parents opt for parallel parenting?
Parallel parenting is excellent for parents that prefer a solid structure. Because a document is needed to describe the scope of each parent’s role in the child’s life, every detail is thought of and described in the content to avoid miscommunication, unfair responsibilities, and possible conflicts.
Usually, parents opt for parallel parenting so that:
● Each parent knows precisely what the child’s day-to-day structure will be like with the other parent.
● Boundaries are created for each parent to respect the other’s time with the child. This also helps each parent use their own parenting style without any meddling.
● The child gets to spend uninterrupted time whenever with the other parent, hence receiving love and attention from both parents even when separated.
● The robust structure provides a safe method for the child to be involved in both parent’s life if the parents don’t get along. This helps prevent the child from getting in the middle of the parents’ personal conflicts.
Because of its firm structure, there is no room for flexibility or winging things as you go. Both parents are expected to follow the written scope unconditionally unless agreed upon with lawyers or mediators.
Are there any disadvantages to parallel parenting?
Parallel parenting has been shown to improve the child’s life and involvement with both parents—leading to minimal effects from the divorce.
However, with anything we do, disadvantages are bound to appear. Some disadvantages include the following:
● Parents may feel like they’re missing out on their child’s life when staying with the other parent.
● Parents may disagree with each other’s parenting style, and they can’t do anything about it.
● It may take the child some time to adjust to parallel parenting, primarily if the parents’ rules, structures, and styles differ.
● The agreement between the two parents needs to be adjusted as the child grows. The needs and responsibilities of a child that is six years old highly differ from one that is 16.
Discuss with your lawyer if you should consider a parallel parenting structure as you go through your divorce.
As you now know, parallel parenting requires a firm, written down structure for both parents to follow. This approach allows each parent to incorporate their parenting styles and fully benefit from their time with the child.
In some instances, the court will assign the couple to incorporate parallel parenting due to their inability to communicate and respect each other’s parenting styles. However, it isn’t limited to high-conflict divorces. Some parents may prefer it because of the firm structure it entails.
Respect, boundaries, and expectations are all elements that help parents best raise a child, even when they’re no longer together. At the end of the day, you want to do what’s best for your child.
Consulting a family law professional about the divorce process and what to expect when children are involved can help make it easier for you and your family. The family law and divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye P.C. in Jackson understand and recognize the emotional stress surrounding the end of a union and breaking up of a family.
We have been protecting people’s rights and interests surrounding family law issues in Michigan for decades and are committed to providing the best possible representation. Dependable legal representation will make all the difference in your divorce. Call and speak with an experienced divorce attorney for expert advice and guidance. Free Consultations.