Sharing child custody isn’t always easy. Kids being shuffled from house to house, coordinating schedules and after school activities, and let’s not forget splitting the holidays.  Making all these decisions with someone that you are not married to any longer can be challenging for both the parents as well as the children. Parents love and want to be with their children as much as possible, so both parents need to adjust and cooperate. How does this happen?  The following are some tips for making shared custody work for you, your kids, and your ex. The divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. in Jackson, MI, can help with any family law issue you are trying to deal with.

First, be mindful of the fact that custody is about the kids, not about you and your ex.

Time with your child is not about winning a competition, rather than valuable time being the best possible parent you can be with your child. This is achieved by setting aside your ego and negative emotions towards your ex while you are spending time with your child. This goes hand in hand with not bad mouthing your ex in front of the children. This is a major no-no. Kids love both parents and shouldn’t be in a position to internalize the criticism. They are a part of both of you and want to love both of you without feeling guilty!


Another important tip to make joint custody work is to be realistic about your schedules and commitments. Your children need both of you to be on board with their activities and physical care so don’t  make unrealistic visitation arrangements. If you have a demanding career and important social commitments, don’t agree to a schedule that will leave your kids frustrated and confused. There are a number of custody schedules that can accommodate everyone.


Communication is paramount in order for joint custody to work.  This means you and your ex need to find a method of communication that works. Technology has a number of apps and tools to organize your custody schedule. For example, there are websites that offer joint calendars, common document storage such as doctor records, school calendar, and a message board. Texting and e-mail, provide the ability to communicate quickly as well.


If you are contemplating a separation or divorce it is important to seek legal advice. The divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C.  serving Jackson County, MI, have the experience and compassion to help. Divorce is about the future not the past, so if you are ready to move on call us today!