Are you over that honeymoon phase and now onto what you hope is just a phase in your marriage, but have doubts? Here a few problematic behaviors that are signs that point straight to divorce.
What are the warning signs of divorce?
Criticism, contempt, and shutting down are a few key behaviors that predict the end of a marriage. All marriages have some degree on conflict, of course. When there are differing opinions, habits, or just two different human beings together- conflict is bound to arise. It’s how the conflicts are handled that makes all the difference.
This especially is true when dealing with criticizing. If you or your partner begin to criticize and attack the person, personality, or character of one another instead of the behavior that is the issue this will cause the other person to feel the need to go on the defense. Which can make both persons feel like they’re not being heard or valued in the relationship. This can result in the attacked to feel bad about themselves around their partner. Instead of attacking your spouse, try using “When you…I feel…” statements. For example, “When you don’t take out the trash I feel not heard.” These statements attack the behavior and not the person resulting in a healthier way to fix conflicts.
Another sign of divorce is “putting the other person down” or showing contempt toward your spouse. This can be exemplified by name calling, mocking, eye rolling, being condescending with humor or sarcasm, sneering in disgust, etc—essentially is one partner making it seem like they are “better than” their partner. This can cause emotional or psychological abuse and can undermine the attacked partner’s self-value. These behaviors can be avoided by intentionally recognizing when they are occurring and confront it head on in how to change. Couples that build an atmosphere of love, respect, kindness, patience, and tolerance to one another are more likely to not participate in these behaviors.
Have you or your partner ever just shut down from a conversation? Maybe it results in being silent in the conversation by giving minimal or no acknowledgement or just physically walking away from the other person. The person that shuts down is usually feeling overwhelmed or trying to avoid further conflict. They think by stonewalling they become neutral to the conversation and in turn will stop the confrontation. However, shutting down, stonewalling or walking out is very damaging to the relationship. It can come across as disapproval, disconnecting or condescending. When one partner is feeling overwhelmed it is good to recognize so and ask for a break in the conversation so you can each calm down and approach the matter later when feeling more relaxed.
All marriages have its problems and all deal with bad behaviors at one point and time. But if the behaviors are consistent and the problem does not seem to be getting better or resolving– then it could mean the relationship is not cut out for longevity.
If you are in a bad marriage and are contemplating divorce or separation, the Divorce and Family Law Offices of Rappleye & Rappleye can help. We recognize the emotional stress that surrounds legal disputes. Our Family Law Firm, located near all major cities in Jackson County, is committed to ensuring our clients receive the best possible care and results possible. We have over 60 years’ experience in divorce and family law issues and we will safeguard your interests and future by providing the right solution for your case. Call us today for a consult!