The disintegration of a marriage and the potential damage it does to a family is, perhaps, one of the biggest fears out there for anyone going through a difficult time with a spouse. The breakup of a marriage is hard on everyone, no matter what the circumstances.
Knowing how best to tackle the emotional and logistical challenges of divorce is going to be the difference between amicable and beneficial separation and years of frustration and even emotional trauma.
There are many ways a divorce process can go wrong.
It’s an inherently unpleasant situation, even for those who are determined to remain friends. Knowing how to deal with your emotions and your family’s emotions, as well as understanding the process and everything that can happen will be the difference between getting through it and regretting it for the majority of your life.
From emotional to logistical needs, we’ve outlined some of the best ways to take on common hurdles faced in divorce.
Stages of Grief
Grief is not just for those who have passed. You can grieve the loss of someone in your life and divorce is a loss. Understanding the natural progression of emotions that happen during a divorce will have you prepared for coping and keep you from becoming surprised by what you feel. The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance.
Pay Attention to Your Children
The desire will to be to focus on you. A divorce is about becoming your own person again and discovering who that is. But, the fact of the matter is, the ones most affected by it will be your children. Children going through a divorce tend to blame themselves, fall into periods of anger or depression, and may start acting out. Pay attention to your child, give them the support they need, and talk to them often.
Depending on the situation, you may feel the need to lash out at your spouse. You’re hurting, it’s natural. But it can also be costly for you and be a huge roadblock to the process. Don’t argue for the sake of it, be honest about your assets and finances when the lawyers ask, be honest about how often you intend to see your children, and honest about how you see your relationship with your soon-to-be ex.
What is the Process of Getting a Divorce?
While you may heatedly declare your relationship over, and mean it, but the law doesn’t work that way. You’ve legally joined your lives and finances. Saying it’s over is not enough in the eyes of the government. The first step is filing for a petition (even if both spouses agree to the divorce), file for temporary orders, have the filing party also file for proof of service process, the party that did not file then needs to file a response (either agreement or contestation), a negotiation then takes place between parties which can lead to a trial if issues cannot be resolved, and then finally an order of dissolution ends the marriage legally.
Can You Contest a Divorce?
You can, technically, refuse to sign divorce papers. You can do this for several reasons but all it tends to do is slow the process. Eventually, the divorce will go through, it simply will take more hearings and hoops to get there. Many people contesting a divorce for reasons other than monetary or to contest claims made by a spouse, do it because they hope to reconcile with the extra time they’re given. In order to have a healthy divorce, don’t contest unless you have a true reason.
The last and biggest piece of advice you can take into a divorce is to find yourself a counsel. A divorce lawyer will take care much of the logistical issues. Don’t make it harder than it already is, do research, and find legal assistance.
If you are pursuing a divorce or are dealing with any other family law matter in Michigan, we know you may have questions. At Rappleye & Rappleye, we understand family law matters and are prepared to offer our clients knowledgeable representation on a wide range of issues. With over 60 years’ experience, we have handled virtually all aspects of divorce and family law issues. Extensive knowledge and expertise are at the cornerstone of our practice. Call us today for a consultation!