As you gaze back at your wedding photos, you reminisce on that beautiful and sacred day – your wedding day. Everyone is happy, including you and your spouse. Forever is all you are thinking about as the marriage officiant unites you and your loved one in holy matrimony. Tears flow from your eyes as you and your significant other take the floor, dancing to your favorite song, “I Will Always Love You,” by Whitney Houston. Today is the beginning of a perfect day and a perfect life when the one person with whom you have chosen to share the rest of your life.
So, how did you get from that perfect day to this day when your spouse wants a divorce?
Here are five signs of divorce that may signal your marriage is on the rocks.
Lack of Communication
One of the most important warning signs of divorce may be a lack of communication. A healthy marriage should have strong communication and support. However, if your marital life is coming to an end, one of the first things that you may notice is that you don’t talk much to each other anymore.
Not communicating may not be a sure sign that divorce is on the horizon, however. Life is full of complicated matters, including jobs, raising children, and unexpected problems. So, a communication breakdown shouldn’t make you jump to the conclusion that your husband or wife is no longer interested in marriage.
Instead, if lack of communication is due to you both being extremely busy, it may be a good idea to reduce some of your responsibilities to put the spark back in your marriage. This should bring the communication back to normal levels.
If one spouse doesn’t want to reduce workload or stress and instead wants even more time away, then this could indicate that there is indeed an emotional disconnect. There could be problems in the way that each spouse communicates. Or, one or both parties no longer feel that the marriage is worthwhile.
Indifference or Hostility Increases
Lack of communication typically leads to the next problem in a marriage, which is indifference or hostility. Both behaviors make a marriage ripe for frequent arguments and outright disrespect toward each other. If one spouse tries to address the issue, the other may lash out and become even more angry and distant.
The bickering seems endless and starts to take its toll on each of you and the children. It may even begin to seep out of the relationship and the house and start to take its toll on your work performance and other important areas of your life.
No More Intimacy or Infidelity
If there is a lack of communication and increased hostility, one spouse may withhold intimacy. A lack of intimacy in the relationship may cause you or your significant other to cheat to fill the void. For example, the unhappy spouse may start improving their looks and going out more in hopes of meeting someone. Upon meeting someone, the cheating spouse may begin to make up even more excuses for being “busy” or being away from the house more. These excuses to cheat typically relate to work activities. After all, who would question a spouse that is busy with work?
Money Issues Prevail
Money, or the lack thereof, can cause an enormous amount of stress and problems for a relationship. Initially, both spouses may have had a shared bank account or other shared monetary arrangements. However, lately, one spouse has decided to separate finances and has become more secretive about other things they used to share, like passwords. A spouse that doesn’t trust the other may retaliate by hiding money in a “just in case” fund if they worry about divorce.
One or Both Spouses Becomes Addicted to Vices
As things become more hostile and untrustworthy, a spouse may indulge in very harmful behaviors to cope. These behaviors may include the following: alcohol abuse, drug abuse, chain-smoking, gambling, and other destructive activities. These problems could lead to job loss, problems with the law, physical abuse, and other issues that add even more stress and strain to the marriage.
Every marriage has its ups and downs. These warning signs of divorce, while prevalent with most couples whose marriage ends in divorce, don’t mean that these indicators will lead to divorce. Counseling or spiritual consult may help clear up most of these problems. However, if things don’t get better, then it is a good idea to solicit the help of a divorce attorney to assist you, especially in a contested divorce.
Family Law and Divorce Lawyers
Divorce does not have to be about an end but rather a new beginning. The family law and divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye in Jackson Michigan can help safeguard your interests and family as you embark on a new journey. Our 60+ years of experience in all areas of family law and divorce issues lends for a divorce process guided with compassion. Questions on child custody? Spousal support or parenting time? Call us so we can help you get started on a new beginning.