While going through the divorce process, you must make plenty of decisions. Some of the most important ones have to do with the parenting arrangements you and your former spouse agree upon to ensure your children feel loved and safe.
If you decide on co-parenting, you ensure that both parents will have an active role in your kids’ lives.
So, what is co-parenting?
It is a child custody arrangement where both parents share responsibilities for their children’s well-being. The parents live in separate households and divide time and obligations into an established routine with a focus on providing the best care for their children.
This arrangement works best when parents live in the same area so traveling long distances isn’t an issue. Although many factors are spelled out in the divorce decree or separation, details of the arrangement can be changed as the children grow older.
So, What are Some Key Tips to Make it Work?
The three C’s can help you make co-parenting a success. They are communication, clarity, and consistency. Even though no two families are alike, these three tips can help any family keep things smooth.
First, there is communication – establishing open and honest ways to communicate from the very beginning is key. Agree about the best ways that work for everyone, whether it is texting, calling every night, or group chats. And then stick to what you’ve agreed upon.
Next, there is clarity – if your children know what to expect, they feel confident, safe, and happy. When new situations arise, spell out clearly what is happening and how it will affect them.
Lastly, there is consistency – proving yourself consistent builds and strengthens your relationships with your children. They know they can trust and believe in you because you always do what you say you will do and you stick to the plans.
So, What Are Some Mistakes to Avoid?
What you don’t want to do is let your emotions get the better of you and say negative things about your former partner in front of your children. Always stay respectful and remember, if you can’t say something positive, don’t say anything.
Try to stick to your agreed-upon plans as much as necessary, but if there is an emergency or a change that can’t be helped, communicate early and often. This gives your children time to adjust and shows you value openness.
Don’t play the blame game. No one ever wins. Your children probably see more than you think they do and have things figured out. Plus, don’t put your children in the position of having to side with one or the other of you. That is not fair and is unhealthy for your kids.
Related Questions
So, What are Some Challenges of Co-Parenting?
Setting boundaries in co-parenting is important but very challenging. It might be easy to be taken advantage of because of past guilt. Another common challenge of co-parenting is establishing similar routines and discipline styles so that your children don’t have to re-adapt their behavior according to what household they’re in each week or weekend.
So, What are Some Benefits of Co-Parenting?
The challenges are worth overcoming, though, because the benefits of co-parenting include raising happy, healthy children who have both parents as an active part of their lives. They are nurtured and cared for in loving, safe environments and see how people can work together successfully, even if they are very different.
Remember…
Co-parenting looks different for every family, but if you follow these tips of do’s and don’ts, you set the stage to give your children a wonderful, loving childhood.
Talk to a Divorce Attorney
Consulting a family law professional about the divorce process and what to expect when children are involved can help make it easier for you and your family. The family law and divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye P.C. in Jackson understand and recognize the emotional stress surrounding the end of a union and breaking up of a family.
We have been protecting people’s rights and interests surrounding family law issues in Michigan for decades and are committed to providing the best possible representation. Dependable legal representation will make all the difference in your divorce. Call and speak with an experienced divorce attorney for expert advice and guidance. Free Consultations.