Friendship is more than meeting for coffee and exchanging birthday presents. It is about being the one your friend can cry with, vent to, and lean on during times of heartbreak and loss. Going through a divorce can be one of the hardest experiences a friend can face, and may need more love, attention, and support than ever before in your friendship. This is when bonds show their strength.
So, how do you support a friend during their divorce?
You give them your time and walk with them through the grieving process. You say things that are encouraging and comforting and leave judgment behind. Most of all, you help them forge a new life.
There is a balance you need to find between the tangible and intangible support to offer your friend. Both are equally real and important in the healing process. Each offers the necessary pieces to help make your friend feel whole again after a breakup.
So, How Can You Help Your Friend During a Divorce?
There are a few fundamental aspects of life your friend needs help with during the divorce to make sure their future will be stable. The first of these is finances. Because of the emotional strain divorce creates, your friend might not be able to navigate through decisions involving money.
You need to make sure your friend is getting solid legal guidance so that they will have a secure future. Help your friend find the best attorney to make sure they get good financial advice and legal backing moving forward.
The next aspect involves your friend’s family. Their children will need extra attention and may need additional resources such as food or clothing, and possibly counseling. Try lending a hand with meals and carpooling to activities. Suggesting movie or game nights can start a new tradition, give the kids something else to focus on, and hopefully make less time for the loneliness and depression that can come with divorce.
If your friend doesn’t have children, suggest you do more things together. Don’t wait for your friend to come up with ideas because the emotional drain of divorce is debilitating. Be the positive energy supply for activities you know they like.
Another tangible way to help your friend with concerns about any location changes. If your friend has to move or change the home in any way, be there to help. Don’t wait for an invitation, just find out when things are happening and come prepared with the necessary supplies. Bringing pizza and drinks is always a good idea, too.
So, How Do You Support Your Friend During A Divorce?
Your friend needs more than just the number of a good lawyer and an extra pair of hands on moving day. The sadness, anger, or guilt that comes with loss needs a safe space to be expressed in.
You support your friend by asking how they are regularly and listening without offering uninvited advice. Encouraging them to spend more time with friends and family will help them feel loved, which is necessary for healing.
You want your friend to recover from this break and find stability not just financially, but also emotionally. Encouraging your friend to eventually find forgiveness and new goals helps create acceptance of the past and hope for the future.
It may take months or years for these to become a part of your friend’s life, but with your love and support, it will happen.
Related Questions
So, What Should You Not Say to Your Friend During Their Divorce?
The last thing you should say to your sad or angry friend is I told you so. They don’t need to be reminded of any red flags, good advice they didn’t heed, or mistakes they might have made. The only thing looking back is good for is teaching what not to do in the future and not for rubbing noses in.
So, What Should You Not Do for Your Friend During Their Divorce?
You should refrain from setting your friend up with your neighbor or coworker during the divorce process or even a week after the papers are signed. If your friend starts dating again, great. But you don’t need to be pushy about it too soon, no matter how cute your neighbor is.
Summing Up
Helping your friend get through a divorce can be extremely difficult. Focusing on stable finances, loving family and friends, and forgiveness can lead to happiness in a new life.
The divorce lawyers at Rappley & Rappley P.C. have been helping individuals navigate the ins and outs of divorce for 2 generations and know how important providing support is. It’s important to know and feel that you are not alone.
Our experience in all areas of divorce and family law combined with compassion and understanding makes our divorce and family law firm a top choice in the Jackson area. If you have questions, need help, or want sound advice, call us, we are here to help.