If your friend is going through a divorce, it can be hard to know what to say or do. When times are tough, it’s important to stand by your friend. Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you are trying to be supportive.
First, don’t judge. In other words, keep your opinions to yourself.
It is important to stop talking and really listen.
Your friend doesn’t want to have to answer any questions or justify her decision. And she certainly doesn’t want to be told what to do. Lending an impartial ear and acknowledging your friend’s feelings is probably the most important thing you can do for support.
Help validate your friend’s position. Life as your friend knows it has changed, drastically. Chances are they are overwhelmed and disoriented. Regardless of your thoughts and opinions, it is critical that you help validate your friend’s decision. You can do this by reminding her of why she made the choice to divorce and everything she did to try and save the marriage.
Be a “safe zone” for your friend. Your friend needs someone to turn to without judgment and questions. The people in her life and family has changed drastically and she needs to know she still “fits in” somewhere. Inviting her to dinner, or to come hang out, especially during the holidays is a gesture she will appreciate. Who doesn’t feel safe with their true friends?
Do something nice and needed.
Listening to your friend and spending time with her is great, but actually “doing” something for her is even better. If she has kids, offer to watch them so she can have some time to herself. Or help her clean out a closet, cook her a meal or tidy up her house. She will probably be very grateful.
If you are contemplating a separation or divorce it is important to seek legal advice. The divorce attorneys at Rappleye & Rappleye, P.C. serving Jackson County, MI, have the experience and compassion to help. Divorce is about the future, not the past, so if you are ready to move on, call us today!